Isabelle as an infant was very difficult, she was colicky for the first 6 months. We always joked and said were shocked she did not scare us out of having a second, because it was not all "Bubble Gum and Rainbows" as painted in all those stupid parenting books about being a new mom. As a Toddler/Preschooler she was a walk in the park. My mother made parenting look so easy. I remember as a child like 6 or so I used to carry around dollies and diaper bags & pretend to be a Mommy as if they were real. I used to play in the car pretending to drive them places with the baby all strapped in the back seat. Little did I know the real deal of what goes on.. LOL I always had this vision of being a "PTA Soccer Mom" that was what I wanted, I did not want the career, I wanted to be home with my little ones.
Laila was a breeze as an Iinfant, but as a Toddler/Preschooler watch out. Laila tested us at bedtime last night throwing a full blown tantrum. It was the night for excuses to go to bed in the Sturm house. So we got the " I need to pee", " I need a kiss", "My music box is done", " I can't sleep". Which then escalated to her crying because we weren't giving into it. We do all the requests once, but after that we are done and she knows that but pushes the envelope to the max. She started to cry so hard that she was hyper- ventilating which meant that Tom and I had to calm her, which took a while of giving her breathing techniques to calm her down. When Laila works herself up, she is really hard to calm.... Finally after an hour of struggle she finally laid her tired head and droopy sad eyes on her pillow and fell asleep, poor little bug. She was just fighting it & us because she was so tired.
Parenting tests all the levels in a relationship, especially in the wee hours of the morning when they get up for the 14th time and you are exhausted from very little sleep. The different styles of parenting come to a head, which also causes conflict. Then the child plays the parents against one another, which is another one of their lovely little skills.. Laila came to me after bath an asked if she could have a yogurt. I told her no, in the morning she could it was late and she had to go to sleep! She then went to Daddy and asked him if she could have a yogurt.. So I had to chime in an say I already told you no Laila. This happens quite a bit in this house so you need to be on your toes and make sure that you double check with the other parent, to see if they asked the other for something already! So we tend to say "Did you say it was okay for..... to have a .... " Do they teach you all that in parenting, does the Egg with a markered smiley face test the relationship your in, hell no cause you are like 13 what is a relationship at that age? Maybe it is designed to give you the fundamentals of parenting which is still a bunch of BS to me. I don't think that any class or life lesson will ever prepare you for what it is like to be a full time parent/partner.
I always set out to do the best I can for these little monkeys. These girls are my life! But times you feel like a failure & you want to quit, alot of times you have the "Mommy Guilt". I know I certainly have a lot of "Mommy Guilt". I wonder if that ever goes away? I feel bad when I go out on my own, I feel bad when I ask for just 10 min of quiet time... As a Mom we carry that guilt around like baggage. You don't hear about anything called the "Daddy guilt", it is not that they don't have guilt, I just think they don't bare it as much as a mother does
All you can do is be the very best you can for both your children & spouse. Give them all the very best that you can. Love them unconditionally, be patient, kind, understanding & listen.. But most of all remember to parent together, be a team & work together, cause at the end of it all. When your kids are all grown up and moved out and with their loved ones, you & your spouse are the only ones left in that big empty house.
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| Summer 2010 deliciousimagery.com |
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